seeing you smiling is the only inspiration in life that i'll ever need.
April 2012
667 days together, and counting.
I have never been happier.
things that make me happy:
when my boyfriend texts me randomly in the middle of the day to say: “hey, girlfriend. i love you.”
19 more days.
that’s all.
“‘I love you’ means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. ‘I love you’ means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me.”
—Jonathan Safran Foer (via beautyisanillusion)
“Genuine love is rarely an emotional space where needs are instantly gratified. To know love we have to invest time and commitment… Dreaming that love will save us, solve all our problems or provide a steady state of bliss or security only keeps us stuck in wishful fantasy, undermining the real power of the love — which is to transform us.”
—bell hooks (via transformfeminism)
“Be intellectually and morally rigorous in your own decision-making, and expect that the important people in your life do the same, if they want to stay important to you.”
—Rachel Maddow, Smith College 2010 Commencement Address (via transformfeminism)
how do you reconcile love and work?
excuse my baby rant right now.
making plans for this summer has stressed me out beyond belief. my two options are as follows:
- work from home. intern in texas. study french, chinese independently. i would still be working five days a week, just from home/at home. lose the close connection with my internship, but develop a new relationship at another organization. save money on housing. spend all summer with family and boyfriend.
- stay in new york city. find housing. work a paid internship, somewhere, somehow. interning would still barely cover rent. but have the opportunity to stay with my current internship, which i love so much, and/or develop a new relationship with a different organization.
what is the logical answer? probably to find some way to stay in the city. what does my heart want? both. i want to stay here to develop my work skills, but to what extent am i putting work ahead of everything else in life? i have already had four internships in my two years in college. if i don’t go home now, i would not see my family for an entire year because i would leave for paris in the fall. i want to be with my boyfriend for our two year anniversary. i hear everyone else’s plans for the summer: some people chose to take the summer easy, some people are doing crazy outrageous things at wonderful internships/summer research. i feel torn. why isn’t it possible to have the best of both worlds? why is new york city so far away from texas? making decisions like these make me want to cry.
i have had this internal debate with myself for the past two months. how do you reconcile love and work? how many times have i put work ahead of love? how many times have i put love in front of work? how many times will i do this in the future? will i be a workaholic? the answer is undoubtedly yes. so should i take a summer off to have some fun or should i keep working?
i am going home.
the kinds of conversations you'll never forget: via real fucking love.
- Him: I like what I do. I like you more.
- Me: That's a big deal...
- Him: If I could have both, I'd be thrilled... Given a choice, I choose you.
- Me: I feel like a Pokemon.
