I have never been happier.
when my boyfriend texts me randomly in the middle of the day to say: “hey, girlfriend. i love you.”
19 more days.
excuse my baby rant right now.
making plans for this summer has stressed me out beyond belief. my two options are as follows:
- work from home. intern in texas. study french, chinese independently. i would still be working five days a week, just from home/at home. lose the close connection with my internship, but develop a new relationship at another organization. save money on housing. spend all summer with family and boyfriend.
- stay in new york city. find housing. work a paid internship, somewhere, somehow. interning would still barely cover rent. but have the opportunity to stay with my current internship, which i love so much, and/or develop a new relationship with a different organization.
what is the logical answer? probably to find some way to stay in the city. what does my heart want? both. i want to stay here to develop my work skills, but to what extent am i putting work ahead of everything else in life? i have already had four internships in my two years in college. if i don’t go home now, i would not see my family for an entire year because i would leave for paris in the fall. i want to be with my boyfriend for our two year anniversary. i hear everyone else’s plans for the summer: some people chose to take the summer easy, some people are doing crazy outrageous things at wonderful internships/summer research. i feel torn. why isn’t it possible to have the best of both worlds? why is new york city so far away from texas? making decisions like these make me want to cry.
i have had this internal debate with myself for the past two months. how do you reconcile love and work? how many times have i put work ahead of love? how many times have i put love in front of work? how many times will i do this in the future? will i be a workaholic? the answer is undoubtedly yes. so should i take a summer off to have some fun or should i keep working?
i am going home.
- Him: I like what I do. I like you more.
- Me: That's a big deal...
- Him: If I could have both, I'd be thrilled... Given a choice, I choose you.
- Me: I feel like a Pokemon.